Employee Training

I have a memo for when the job takes off, let me know what you readers think (It’s satire to lighten the mood on bad days).

In order to verify everyone is working at 100%, we will conduct Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We’re here to verify you get as much SHIT as possible.

If you feel you’re not receiving your share of SHIT, please see your team lead. They will immediately place you at the top of the SHIT list. They will see you get as much SHIT as you can handle.

If you don’t take your SHIT, you will be placed under Departmental Employee Evaluation Employee Program (DEEP SHIT). Those who fail to take DEEP SHIT seriously will have to go through Employee Attitude Training (EAT SHIT).

Since team leads took SHIT before a project, they don’t have to do SHIT anymore; as they are full of SHIT already.

If you are full of SHIT, you can be interested in training others. We can add you to the Basic Understanding Lecture List (BULL SHIT). Those who are full of BULL SHIT will get the SHIT jobs, and can later apply for Director of Intense Programming (DIP SHIT).

If you have questions or comments, direct them to Head Of Training (HOT SHIT).

Thank you,

Boss In General (BIG SHIT)

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