Can we hang out later?

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*In High School*

You – “Hey. I like you a lot and want to know if you want to do something sometime?”

Them – “Sure! When?”

You – “How about this weekend?”

Them – “Sorry, I have to work.”

You – “Ok how about next weekend?”

Them – “Sorry I have to work then also.”

*Goes on social media. Notices the person you asked out is having a fun time with their friends*

*You go to confront the person*

You – “It shows on here you were out with your friends. I thought you had to work?”

Them – “Stay out of my business! What are you, a stalker?!”

If you’re currently the one who wants to do something, this conversation at least happens more often than it should. Too many times people seem interested in an idea, to only later lie out of hanging out with that someone. Why’s that? Let’s dive inside.

1. Bad management of time. Back to the original conversation, had the other person mentioned what time(s) they work, the conversation would have shifted in a different direction. Instead of, “I’m working the weekend,” the correct response would have been “I work X to Y.” This does two things – Shows you’re interested as long as plans are outside your work schedule; and/or shows you’re already answering a question before being asked. This is the biggest pitfall because too many younger people pretend to be grown-up, yet they don’t show signs of actually being mature enough to answer a simple question to avoid unnecessary confrontation.

2. Posting your entire business online. Countless times I hear “I have to update my status.” Why do you have to update your status? Why tag everyone on your friends list about what’s going on to call someone negative names later? Are you getting paid to tell everyone your life story? And the end all question, “why should people care? What makes your postings more important than someone else’s?” I (as well as others) often wonder why certain celebrities make high amounts of money for everyone to know their life stories, to later say the majority are stalkers. Well, sorry to say, but if you post online on social media, you lose all right to call someone a stalker because you want the public to know your business. It’s one thing to update someone who can’t join, and you tag those who can’t join your fun time; however, to add everyone is asking for trouble.

3. Video gaming is more important. Instead of “I’m working (unless you’re making a video for your stream/channel),” just tell the truth. “I have some online friends who asked me to help with X game.” Or, “I have X to do at Y time.” So someone will get upset/mad, but they at least have to respect you for telling the truth regarding what your plans are. It’s much better than just lying to get out of something.

4. You’re in introvert (you rather stay inside). If you’re the type to stay inside, say so. “I’m not the go out type. Maybe we can stay inside?” See how easy that is rather than lying? There’s too many moments where people aren’t open about their habits due to negative feedback from their peers – who cares what they think? Do they live in your house? Do they know what goes on in your life every minute of the day? Are they willing to understand why you prefer to stay inside?

5. You just don’t feel like it. Tell the truth. “I don’t want to go out” or “can we stay inside?” or “Not this time, maybe next time.” Too many people are more upset because the truth isn’t said instead of the no. You will be amazed how much more respect you earn/keep if you keep things truthful than lie about it.

I bring this up today because as an adult, I even hear these between various people both online and in person while I’m out on errands. The younger crowd are a much bigger modifier because of “what someone will say” instead of not caring and still doing their thing. There’s other modifiers (homework, family plans, seminars, previous plans, etc), however, these are the biggest five I’ve ran across both as a younger adult, and also now that I’m older. To sum up today’s blog, the root cause is truth. If you tell the truth, and keep things where there’s answers without additional questions, respect is kept/earned, and you have nothing to fear later.

If you’re the one who’s upset because someone turned you down, don’t fret. Look at it as a blessing because you’re not sacrificing who you are for someone else to have a good time. Those who want to hang out, will make the effort to communicate and keep you in the know.