Society – “Be yourself. Love yourself as-is and don’t let anyone tell you different.”
Society – “But no, not like that.”
Sounds familiar? I bet you’re getting tired of “be yourself,” to be told within the same convo, “but not like that.” Then why suggest to change if the change doesn’t fit what society deems standard?
Reminds me of the “sorry not sorry” phrase I hear way too often. Which is it? You’re sorry or you’re not?” Don’t contradict the sentence/phrase to confuse people even more. It’s different if someone says “I’m sorry for X, but not sorry because of Y.” Same outcome, however there’s at least some substance into why they worded the response this way.
Person 1 – “I want X, Y, Z, A, B and C from a relationship. And I absolutely refuse to do D and E.”
Person 2 – “Those are a lot of requirements for a relationship.”
Person 1 – “I have standards. If they can’t meet all those requirements, not worth my time.”
*Person 1 goes online*
“Why can’t I find someone to love/accept me as I am?”
I know way too many people in this category; they have a list of requirements/demands, yet go elsewhere and post these “I’m lonely” responses. Well, sorry to say but don’t have a list to later complain because what you want don’t fit your list of who you’re looking for. Having standards is one thing (Cleanliness, respect, etc.) but to have a list of demands (must be rich, good in bed, etc), don’t complain because the right wo/man doesn’t waste their time because you’re looking with the wrong modifiers. For every modifier you have, someone else will use your list against you. As I mentioned in a previous blog, change your requirements, but don’t lower them; there’s a difference. Also, a relationship is about compromise, sacrifice, and adapting to both you and your partners needs and wants; having the relationship one sided just means you two won’t last, if at all.
Person 1 – “If you’re X age and still Y, you need to check your priorities”
*goes on phone to play Candy Crush and flirt with people they don’t like*
Excuse me? There’s an age limit to feeling young? If what you don’t like is within reason, what’s it to you? I’ve heard/read women (sorry ladies) use Video Games as the biggest “grow out of” modifier because someone/thing said it’s not for adults. Here’s my first question, who makes video games again? If someone is passionate about entering the industry, why take that way because you don’t feel it’s necessary?
Person 1 – “I want someone who goes outdoors and hunts/fishes”
*is an introvert*
This one is by far one of the biggest “WTF” posts I’ve came across. How are you going to ask for something, to only do the opposite, and argue why what you prefer is right? The biggest reason I hear is something along the lines of “maybe they want to try something different.” Then say, “I want to try something different like…..” this way the expectation(s) are more clear and the person in question won’t look like an idiot at the end.
Person – “One of my 5 boy/girlfriends cheated on me. I’ll never trust relationships again!”
Granted this is more of a middle/high school thing, I hear of older adults pulling the same thing because they didn’t get the attention at a younger age; so they use the “right now” as an excuse. I’ve even had a roommate in the past bring home a different woman almost nightly because he never had the attention at a younger age. It’s one thing to keep yourself outside the relationship zone until you find who fits what you’re looking for; but it’s another to date multiple people because you want to keep your options open. It’s not fair on them, nor yourself. Just remember, what goes around, comes around at the wrong time.
Man – “I hate gay men! They’re annoying!”
*Watches lesbian adult videos*
To shorten this response; as a straight man (me), I prefer gay men. Why?! Less competition for me when I talk to women. Perception is everything.
Woman – “I like X but I don’t want them to know I like them. They need to make the first move on me.”
*plays hard to get and the person in question goes for someone else*
I asked multiple women on this (online and in person), and the biggest answer I get is “it’s a woman thing.” The only theory I can come up with is they want the wo/man to make the first move as a way to show interest. The hard to get game seems more of something the younger crowd pulls due to some negative behavior in the past. If there’s someone you like, go for the initiative. It’s either going to work, or it won’t. If men can do it, women can just as much.
Today I wanted to discuss a few phrases I’ve heard over time, and how they’re bothering to those who hear them consistently. If you’re having an issue expressing what you’re looking for, want, or if you need a second opinion, ask a trusted source for inspiration and/or some suggestions. If you’re trying to change, and too many people are knocking your ideas, again ask a trusted source for assistance. There’s a difference between your ideas needing some adjustment(s), and people saying no because you’re coming up with ideas they didn’t first.
My challenge to you today is this: listen to the people around you. Try not to speak, but rather listen. Notice how contradictory those around you are for various reasons, and sometimes you can hear the jealously and/or envy out of their tone of voice? These kind of people I’d advise to stay away from because they aren’t the negativity you need in your life. If you hear someone with a list of demands for a relationship and they can’t find someone, that’s their problem, not yours. Be the shoulder to cry on, but ask the right questions so they can see the error in their ways.
Remember: If something sounds off, repeat what you heard in your head. If something still doesn’t sound right, ask a trusted source. Also remember karma is a real thing, and so is intelligence. Be yourself, just like that (within reason).